broken record

       Jack turns four tomorrow. He's pretty great. I remember spending most of the summer after eighth grade mothering this child, and sometimes I miss that. Now, Gabe is in the same stage, but I am much more shallowly involved with him.

       I feel almost like we're living on a loop; Max is returning home in just 28 days, and he'll meet for only the second time his little brother Gabriel, who is now the same age that Jack was when he left two years ago.

       As the only kid too young to have a job and old enough to keep small children alive, I was Jack's foster mother pretty much. I maintain that this is the year Ash and Anna and I grew apart. Because I was bossing them around all the time. Because Mom was locked in the office making phone calls all the time. And as a final side note, my dad and I went to Target late one night recently, and he remarked that he "really doesn't like driving late at night in the summer." So I asked him why, and he said that it's because he "gets flashes of when he had to fix Mom's campaign signs. PTSD.")

       We're excited for Jack's birthday and the fireworks that always accompany it. Last year they made him cry; this year he cheers and wants them to be louder. 

       Have a great week!

       Love, Grace

Date with Tate. This one's kind of funny, because he asked me out for his birthday but he didn't know that he had a surprise party. It was kind of tricky to get him back home after dinner without sending up a red flag. But we made it alright:) whole thing was a blast overall.

awkward semi-candid

Youth conference at Snow ("Snoow much fun!")

 Gerald the water balloon

17 July 2015-18 July 2015

RIP

 I think the total dead rat count so far this season is three, and one time years ago Jens almost mowed up a live rattlesnake, but the crow is a first. We debated whether the crow's being dead doubles or cancels out the whole harbinger of death thing.

 These three photos are pretty typical Jack fare. I had a couple dozen of these. Especially the middle one. HE CANNOT SMILE. He thinks he's smiling, but he isn't.

 "Every picture that we have of Jack doing a real smile is a fluke." -Mom

She's right. This was the one good photo.

and a fireworks date with Carson!

hiking (read: life)

       I really love hiking. Except for when I'm actually hiking. Really, hiking is a pastime most enjoyed through the window of hindsight. Also, hikes are a metaphor for life. 

• Sometimes you gain satisfaction simply through the climb. 
• Sometimes you get to the top of a big hill and there is another big hill right there. Because sometimes you just don't get a break.
• Sometimes you can't believe how cool and shady and beautiful and flat it is.
• Downhill can be hard too—it's a lot easier to lose your footing and slide off the side.
• It's best not to run yourself ragged. Sit for a minute. You need the water. Even just a couple of peanut m&m's can perk you up. You might be surprised by how much better you feel after two minutes.
• Sometimes you feel really good even though you're on a big hill; conversely, sometimes you just have to plop in the dirt for a bit even though it's 'easy.' Both of these things and everything in between them are okay.
• Don't carry more than you have to. Unload the unnecessary baggage. 
• The trail can be hard, but it's still a lot easier than the not-trail. The way has been paved for us in the best way possible, even when it looks simpler to skip the winding road and cut straight through the ravine. Since we don't have the experience to make that judgement wisely, it's best to trust the people who blazed the trail. 

       Some of these are stolen from the young women in my ward (we all discussed the metaphor of hiking after doing Adam's Canyon together.) Lots of them are from my family and my own head, because my parents are awesome. In fact, it's my dad who first taught me that life and hiking are not so different, and we've since gone on enough spontaneous "mandatory family hikes" for me to come to agree. Also, the earth is made of rocks.
       Have an elevating week!

       Love, Grace

sleeping son steals hat and glasses, impersonates father

sisters wear "same" outfit, reveal differences in personality

Monday: The washer and dryer break. Tami decides to search for a new set after Kam declines to attempt a fix. 

Saturday: Tami plans to take Kam and go shop for a new set. Kam successfully deters her by utilizing a lot of time and YouTube videos to fix the washer.

Moral of the story: hatred of shopping is a strong motivator.

Other moral of the story: my parents are adorable and look at this paint from when we built the house twelve years ago. 

I love my hat

Namaste

     Poor Emmaline had a kidney infection this week. The top of the Reeses she gave me when I visited peeled into a heart. Which, normally peeling is annoying, but it's a heart. For friendship or something.

Trying to look cool on the roof of a car...

This year, Venus and Jupiter converged to no further than two degrees apart, appearing to be one third of a degree from some parts of North America. Next year, on August 27th, they'll be just .1 degrees apart. Which is sick. (In May of 2000 they were .01 degrees apart, but too close to the sun to be seen, so next year still wins.)

We were supposed to ride in the pink convertible, but it didn't start so we ran into the slightly less cool orange cadillac.

"I'll take it really close so it looks like a selfie." -Dad

Sparklers make me so nervous. It makes me nervous to think of small children waving 2,000 degree burning metal things around at eye level. But I LOVE them a lot.

Gabriel and madre.

       I want to share a couple of thoughts about love. Specifically the lens of God's love and trying to see through it. Because that is something I am having to work on lately.
       This week, my mother gave me a book called Carry On, Warrior. There's a chapter about love. The author talks about how the conflicting voices of fear and love in our hearts sometimes make it hard to function, but when we are able to tune out fear, love makes everything simple and clear. She also shares the definition of the word namaste: the divine light in me recognizes and honors the divine light in you.

       I am relearning what it means to love a little more like God loves. I am trying to increase my ability to see the divine potential in others. I didn't do very well this week, but that is always okay. What matters is that I'll keep continuing to do slightly better!

       Have a great week!

       Love, Grace